


Love is a Taboo, and Grief is a Law of Nature

by TheLordofPhantomhive



Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: F/F, F/M, God - Freeform, Kaya - Freeform, and the ships...god, anyway have some angst, asato, kagari - Freeform, kaltz - Freeform, plz read we all need the cat lesbians, what the fuck is wrong with this fandom, why is kayas character unexistent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8335489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLordofPhantomhive/pseuds/TheLordofPhantomhive
Summary: Kagari was...in love with her best friend. She recalls her feelings, and how that friend fell for another cat...the one cat that she should have avoided the most. The world is cruel, and not only are Kagari's feelings not reciprocated, but she has to lose the love of her life and at the same time raise the product of her love with a cursed cat. Just...what other misfortune could befall her?





	1. Recollections

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know if this has been done before, but...the first chapter is short and all over the place, but I'm working on the second chapter and it's...better. Please give this fic a chance.

_ I was in love with my best friend. _

 

There was simply no other way to put it. I followed her around all the time. The age difference between us was not too big, and yet she was still a much better hunter than I was. She managed to get her prey with skill, making any task seem easy. I admired her, and often went with her on her journeys.

 

However, there was one time. There was this  _ one _ time in which I didn’t go. What would be different if I had gone with her that day? The answer is simple:  _ everything _ . Everything would have been different.

 

First, she would still be alive, and second-

 

_ -that taboo child would not have been born, or so much as conceived. _

 

I was young and inexperienced, and all the time, I would question myself. Of one thing I was sure, I was going to let her know about my feelings. Still, I never knew how to get around to it. There was this one time, in the forest,

 

_ “Um, Kaya-” _

 

_ “Hm? Kagari? What’s the matter?” _

 

A day has not gone in which I have not remembered her beautiful voice as she called my name. It was the most beautiful melody I had ever and will ever hear.

 

_ “I...Um… W-Well-” _

 

_ “You want me to teach you some more tricks? Of course! Always.” _

 

More times than not, she would assume that my stuttering was due to the fact that I was shy and did not dare to ask for advice. She could not have been more wrong, and yet, I never told her.

 

I miss her dearly… I wish I would have told her, even if she’d rejected me. At least, I wouldn’t have been left with this gaping hole in my heart. So many years later, I would only have one regret instead of two. Two big burdens that will haunt me forever, until the end of time.

 

_ Just why... _ **_why_ ** _ didn’t I go with her on that fateful day? Maybe… Maybe we could have killed him. Maybe we could have both…  _ **_befriended_ ** _ him, even, but...things would not have ended this way if I had just gone with her... _

 

And then, I remembered yet another one of the beautiful moments I lived with her; the highlights of my life.

 

_ “You know, Kagari. You have beautiful hair. A shame that you’re always tying it back. It’s beautiful.” _

 

She said this as she ran her hand through my blond-ish grey locks, and smiled. We were sitting underneath a tree, taking advantage of its shade, resting after a long while of sparring. My hair tie had been broken in the middle of it, so my hair was all loose and messy. It must have looked horrible.

 

If I were to be honest, I would say that I favored her dark black hair over mine, especially since it was so pure, and reflected exactly on Kira was. A dark, mysterious village.

 

Still, I was not honest yet again. I only brushed off her compliment. Why did I have to be so stupid?

 

_ “It gets in the way when I’m fighting.” _ I smiled.  _ “Not everyone has your skills or your gracefulness, Kaya.” _

 

She merely laughed, beautifully. Her laughter was the only thing better than her voice when she spoke. It was so perfect and rich, so much more beautiful than the sound of leaves when they were caressed by the wind.

 

_ “You get used to it after a while. You should try it. But hey, if you don’t like letting it all free, how about tying up the majority of it, but still letting a part loose?” _

 

_ “That’s...a good idea, actually.” _

 

And I hate it. I hate how I allowed for any and all ideas coming from her to take over my life. I hate the way I do my hair because she gave me the brightest smile I have ever seen and nodded, telling me that I looked beautiful when I looked anything but. I hate how I just said thank you. I hate how I still do my hair this way every day.

 

Her smile...just like Asato’s. Well, Asato’s smile looks exactly like hers. Every single expression he can make makes me think of her, just like they did when he was barely I child. I hate it. I hate how I couldn’t love the child unconditionally despite how he looked. I hate how I loved him at first  _ because  _ of how he looked and not for who he was. Nobody knows this but me; the ugly reality that hides behind each and every one of us.

 

I  _ raised _ that child, and yet… and yet… still I often find myself thinking about him. About her. About how Asato grew up to be his mother in male form. About how he still has so many habits that resemble her, despite her dying while he was still so young. Does he actually remember her? I wonder that from time to time, as well.

 

It still haunts me every day...to know that that child believes that he was not wanted, that I am the only person who loves him.

 

In reality, I was the very first person who, for a second, wished he didn’t exist. Wished for him to not be conceived so that _I_ could be happy…

 

Little does one know, though, that lives brings surprises, and no one was happy in the end. The result of it all was not good. No one, and I mean  _ no one _ , ended up being happy. Asato’s story is clad by tragedy. His mother passed, his father abandoned him, he was a monster left with only me, who wished he were dead, to take care of him… The poor child never deserved it.

 

Today, though, I got to see him finally be happy, with that other boy. To be honest, I’m impressed. I never thought that Konoe would be so mature and that he would insist on being with Asato even after I told him the story.

 

Of course, I did not go into detail. He is not one worthy of knowing my entire life story and everything I’ve felt during the years.

 

Still, it is good that he knows a little bit and that he still accepts Asato. Asato… he is so happy with him, and from the bottom of my heart, that makes me feel joy, as well.

 

Because at times, I feel as though Asato is more my son rather than Kaltz's, and it ridiculous. But then again,  _I_ was the one who raised him, after all...


	2. Chapter 2

We were on the forest. Kaya was training me, and she was surprised with how well I responded whenever she attacked me out of the blue. She said that I had gone up yet another level, and that she felt like she had nothing else to teach me.

 

“That’s not true,” I said. “I can’t fight as well as you yet. I have a long way to go, still. I wonder if I will ever be able to surpass you.” I smiled a little. 

 

Kaya laughed loudly, shaking her head and giving me a pat on the back. “Of course not, Kagari. You’ll surpass me in no time. Just you wait and see. I’m older than you, so it’ll come to a point in which I’ll just start going down, and you’ll surpass me completely.” She said, her blue hues piercing into the very depths of my soul. They were so beautiful, those eyes, and had the ability to see through me completely with merely one glance. She had that ability, and to this day I wonder just how much she knew. I would have liked to know if she knew about my feelings for her and simply waited for the day in which I told her, of if she was completely oblivious to them. To be honest, I don’t think she was. She was simply too intelligent and sharp not to know. 

 

I managed to let out a disbelieving laugh, and stared at her, a smile present on my thin lips. “Don’t say that. The difference in age between us is not that huge. Besides, if it happened that way, then I would not have been able to surpass you, but what would happen is that your abilities would drop down to my level. I don’t wish for it to happen that way.” 

 

She stayed silent, smiling. Acknowledging me, saying I was right. After that she stood, hiding her sword in its sheath once more. I did the same and looked at her, waiting for her verdict on how I did today and for further instructions. I wished for her to tell me what we were going to do next.

 

Kaya looked thoughtful for a moment, as if weighing her options, before looking at me with daring eyes. With eyes that prompted me to do as she wished, eyes that swallowed me down and completely engulfed me; made me fall into her hands completely and move at her pace. To be frank, I didn’t mind. I never minded it. Still, I waited until she spoke, giving her a questioning look.

 

“Shall we go exploring?”

 

“Wait,  _ what? _ ” I retorted, unable to hold myself back. Just what on earth did she mean by ‘exploring’? We went deep into the forest and came back alive and well every day because we already knew the way around for the most part, but we had never ventured outside of the aras we knew, mainly because it was extremely dangerous. What if we got lost? Actually, that was the best thing that could happen to us if we went far away enough. The worst thing could be-

 

Shivers ran down my spine at the mere thought. I decided not to think about it anymore.

 

“Let’s do it!” Kaya said cheerfully, grinning and pulling me by the arm as we turned to a different direction than where we came from. Despite all the switches going off inside my head, telling me not to go, to be careful, and to convince her not to go, I still went along with her. If I were asked why, the only answer would be…

 

_ Because I was in love, and even the wisest of cats becomes stupid when they fall in love. _

 

And so, I followed her into the forest, becoming anxious and jumpy, my tail standing up and fluffing out at the smallest of sounds, at the faintest signals of danger, even if it happened to be a rabbit hopping about. Kaya laughed at and made fun of me for being a little coward and merely a kitten, despite my usually calm and serious exterior. I was extremely embarrassed. 

 

After a long while of walking aimlessly, we finally got somewhere; saw something different besides trees and squirrels. What stood before us was some beautiful scenery- a flower field.

 

There were a lot of small yellow flowers that emitted a very nice fragrance, and some pink ones that looked different, but beautiful, all the same. A color wheel of pastels alone surrounded us, and for a moment we completely forgot about the rest of the world. We had discovered a place, one that we would begin calling ours because it would be kept as our secret. Nobody else in Kira needed to know about it. Actually, no, it would be  _ bad _ if someone else from Kira came to know about it. Not only would the two of us be punished, but they would also take this place from us and somehow use it to their benefit. In what way, I did not know, but they just  _ would _ .

 

We smelled the flowers one by one, fooled around, joked for a while, spoke a lot, and, after some time, we finally settled down and just laid down on top of the flowers, looking at the stars because night had fallen on us. We weren’t worried, though, not at all, because we had each other’s company, so we wouldn’t be alone on the way back. Besides, we were both strong enough to hold our ground if somebody ever dared to attack us or if some monster happened to appear.

 

It was at that moment that our ears perked up as we heard a low rustle of some leaves. Was someone there? If so, how many? Kaya gave me a look and we both stood, searching for the source of the sound quietly, and surveying our surroundings, scanning them for any sign of another’s presence. Our hands held our swords tightly. We had not drawn them just yet, but we were prepared if anything happened.

 

And then, our lives changed. If I knew what was going to happen in the future, would I have done things differently? To this day, I still wonder that. Because it was in that moment that all went down to hell, when that man spoke and got a reaction out of Kaya.

 

_ “Who’s there?” _ I heard a loud yet dubious voice, as Kaya took out her sword, tail bristling. She hissed at the stranger, getting in a position ready to battle immediately. I did the same.

 

My eyes widened though, and I gasped when that figure revealed itself. 

 

A tall individual, wearing a long robe. His eyes were yellow, the color of a serpent, wide as he looked at the two of us, specially at Kaya. He paid more attention to every single curve of her body, and I got angry, so very angry…

 

I was just about ready to attack, about to run and jump, and cut him down,when Kaya stretched out her arm and held me back by the shoulder, frowning deeply. 

 

It seemed like she wanted to cut the enemy down herself. The enemy  _ was  _ a Meigi cat, after all, our mortal enemies. But then, she did something I could not believe.

 

She walked up to him, giving a smile, and apologizing for being so rude to him. He smiled at her, told her it was all right, and bowed down to her in a silent gesture of meaning no harm. She returned the gesture, as well.

 

Just...what on earth was going on…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger-ish ending! And, I should also announce that the next update may not come for a few months (on 2017 maybe?) because I have signed up for TWO Secret Santas plus am also writing on that project I spoke about on the previous chapter. Still, you will see some more content coming from me soon enough, even if it's not from this fan fiction!
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading, and please leave some kudos and/or comments if you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> The second chapter will be better, I promise. Also, I'm working on another, bigger project for DRAMAtical Murder! It's already 8 chapters long and it's not done yet, but I have yet to post it, so stay tuned!
> 
> Also, please let me know if you liked this!


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